It’s 1:42 AM on Sunday night of Memorial Day weekend.
I’m here with the laptop on…. my lap.
Trying to think of something interesting to write about.
You see, I don’t want this site to be a collection of other people’s websites’ ideas and thoughts. I want it to be original, because in the end that’s what will separate us from every other “daily visit” site on the web.
That’s also the brilliance of one of my favorite sites, www.theonion.com. If you don’t know the onion you probably live in a cave, great site and all original (and funny) content.
Don’t get me wrong you’ll find your share of youtube clips, and links to other sites here because people do funny sh*t and I like to share that. Particularly when I realized that as of today Mountain View, CA is one of our most popular city.
I understand that this is because it is essentially the capital of Silicon Valley & has a little company headquarters there you may have heard of, Google.
Whatever, I don’t care how many super server farms there are, it still means people in Cali love the HotFatGuys and oh yes…. we love you too!
In more of a San Diego way than a San Francisco way but …. well…. you get it.
The point is that the Internet is a big place (great cliche, fatso) and we are doing what we can to keep it fresh & original, so we hope you like it so far.
With that being said here are some of this HotFatGuy’s latest nuggets of wisdom:
1) My buddy (and fellow HotFatGuy) Jack got married this weekend. You may say to yourself “who gives a sh*t) people get married all the time. This is true, it’s not that he got married that’s interesting its how.
He eloped…
Again, not that interesting right? People elope, it happens, but listen to how this guy decides to tell the world he finally got married after being engaged for 212 years.
By mail…
That’s correct, I get a call at work from my wife on Saturday. She informs me that we got a card in the mail announcing that Jack had eloped and inviting us to join him for a party on June 27th.
Now you need to understand that Jack is a close friend, he was a groomsman in both mine AND my brother’s wedding. He also has (arguably) the biggest mouth of anyone I know. So when I called my brother to confer about the recent developments you can imagine my surprise when I realized… he didn’t know either.
Nobody new, crazy sh*t… after playing phone tag I realized he was in NH with his new wife and inlaws. Apparently he’s William Wallace and needed to marry in secret. Hopefully some NH guy with one tooth didn’t ride up on a Harley claiming “Primae Noctis”.
All joking aside though they are good people and we wish them all the happyness in the world!
2) Drag Me to Hell – Ok, I’ve been watching previews for this flick for a month or two now. Summer movie season is heating up and the good folks at Universal are pushing this one hard. Typical underworld sh*t; breathing locusts, demons, etc. Then I saw the most recent preview and something really bugged me. It’s the reason for the curse in the first place…
She won’t give an elderly Slavic woman a THIRD extension on her mortgage?!? So she curses her to HELL?!? And it works?!? Are you fucking kidding me? This is ridiculous…
Pay you’re mortgagae on time you crazy old bitch. I know we’re in a recession but can’t you find someone more suitable to curse?
The Meter Maid
Bob from Bob’s Discount Home Furniture (This man is the devil)
Bucky Dent, Aaron Boone or Scott Walker?
Oh yeah and the leading man that is going to help her get through all this….
The guy from the Apple commercials…
I don’t know about you but this sounds like a category 5 stinker to me.
I’ll tell you this though, some crazy old Slavic bitch comes into my store to return something you better believe I’m giving her whatever she wants.
Here is the preview if you haven’t seen it:
3) Inglourious Basterds- Now THIS is a Summer movie… I think.
I didn’t like American Gangster the first time I saw it because I though it was going to be more Goodfellas esque. I have since re-watched it 10 times and taking it for what it is, it’s a good flick.
That’s kind of how I feel about this movie, looks like Tarantino is hyping it more as a satire or Spaghetti Western but the preview looks anything but.
The preview seems like you’re gonna see a bunch of bad-ass American boys eliminate some Nazi’s with extreme prejudice (pun intended). Particularly if you read about the original “Inglorious Bastards”. The important thing to remember here is that well Tarantino’s movie is based on the original, it is not a remake.
Still looks like it coulc be cool though… here is the preview:
So that’s it for now, it was a doozy at the Full Time gig this weekend. It never ceases to amaze me how upset people can get over furniture.
Hope everyone has a fun and filling weekend! Keep spreading the word on HotFatGuys.com…
Punching Out (for now)….
-Biff
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