HotFatGuys.com

I’m not a writer, I’ve never had a blog or a website.

I’m not even really sure why I set up this website but I did, the boys and I have been talking about doing this for a while now so here I am.

I have built a few sites through yahoo page builder and my buddies got a kick out of them so this is the next logical step.

Before you read on there are some things you should know

I’m no different than any other 30 year old married guy, I’m fat, I use all sorts of profanity, I wish I had a bigger penis, I love the Pats & the Sox. I’m the worst bandwagon Celts fan ever. Let’s see what else….

My colleagues and I have also been known to be racially insensitive at times. I’m not an evil bigot or a moron so it’s not like I’m going to be blogging that I hate one particular group of people because I don’t. However in order to appreciate certain stories I may offer direct quotes that use some “insensitive terms”.

Additionally some of the stories I might share (the best ones) if told in their entirety and unedited would lead to a number of pissed of people so I may change the names or unimportant details to protect the innocent.

You’ll know these stories if they start off with “so one time this guy I know”. These stories could be about any number of the fellas or about me. For my friends reading this I would never share a story without your express written consent (like Major League Baseball) no matter how many minor details get tweaked. I would need you to help me remember half of this sh*t anyway.

Did I mention I’m not a writer? Expect a stream of random sh*t as I’m easily distracted and my grammar skills are probably at a 10th grade level. I always screw up your, you’re & their, there.

Moving along…
My wife is the shit and I’m not just saying that because I know she’ll read this eventually, she really is the best thing that ever happened to me. If I live past 40 it’ll be because of her. Which brings me to my next thing….

I fucking love to drink beer, I really do. Not by myself in a basement or anything but some of the best memories are the ones I had to be told about the next day. My buddy who we simply call “The Captain” has a boat and is one of the most generous guys I know so in the Summer we drink on the boat. It’s therapy as Downsie (another buddy) would say. In the winter it’s varied, I’ve moved around a bit, quick rundown:

Quincy till 1996 Lived with folks went to high school

Salem State College 1997 ish Beer, Parties, Awkwardness, Finally got laid, found out what a “blunt” was.Quincy 1998-2001 back with the folks dating the same girl, drinking, random jobs… sold cars for a month.

The Winthrop Years 2001-2003 Amazing times, my real “college experience” lived with Riley, Puma & Driscoll before Puma broke up the band cause he is a huge pussy.

The Weymouth Experience 2003-2004 living with my best friend dating a lunatic, dark times I was just a selfish dick to everyone, still apologizing for half that sh*t… sorry Riley.

The Southie Renaissance 2004-2005 Holy Sh*t, great times The Capt. lived 2 streets over and Puffy lived a few blocks away . Lived with the two most patient girls (Cliffy & Lobo) other than my wife, worked for a health insurance company Full Time and was Bartending nights.

Quincy Take #3 2005-2007 At the risk of my liver exploding or getting locked up I moved out of Southie after about 16 months and back with the folks, not bartending anymore working insurance by day and the door at a bar in Dorchester by night which is when/how I met my wife. When I met my wife she had an apartment in North Quincy that I frequented so you could probably put that on the list as well.

Stoughton Nov 15 2007 – Present I started remembering dates when I met my wife, we got engaged April 4th 2007, married Sept 6th 2008.The other dates above are probably off by at least 6 months. Puffy is my go to guy with dates, he’s fucking rain man I swear to god.

So there it is, the 1st of what I hope to be many posts (is that the correct term?). My plan is to get a podcast going as well. Me and Puffy have been talking about this since 1997.

So stop back if you want, there is 30 years of pretty funny and random shit to get through before it becomes a terrible “guess what I did today” blog…… as if anyone fucking cares.

Punching Out (for now)….

-Biff

(a.k.a- The Fat Man)

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