HotFatGuys.com

I was going to  wait until tomorrow to post but well… two things.

1) As a 30 year old married HotFatGuy the majority of my recreation happens in my home. Mostly friends come over, we grill, drink beer and play Rock Band.

2) I love Papa Ginos and there is one right around the corner so we order from there quite a bit.

What does one have to do with another you ask?

I just ordered the special from Papa’s and 40 minutes later the delivery guy showed up. Yes even though it’s less than 5 minutes away I still get it delivered.

So I go to the door to pay for the pizza and prepare for the basic “hey man, how much?”, “ok, thanks” bit.

I open the door and he has the bag that keeps the pizza hot in one hand and my 2 liter of diet coke in the other (yes, DIET coke).

I go to grab the Diet Coke from him and he gives me the “you don’t remember me” look.

I’m understandably confused so I continue with the script, “how much is it bro” which leads to this dialogue:

Pizza Guy: “I’m not sure… ahhh $22 and change”

HotFatGuy: (handing him $30) “ok just give me $3 back”

Pizza Guy: “No Rock Band tonight?”

HotFatGuy: (puzzeled) “no, not tonight”

Pizza Guy: “My wife’s grandmother just bought a blue ray player and it’s already obsolete. So I told her about PS3 and she went out and spent like $800 on PS3 and games and stuff.”

HotFatGuy: “Your wife’s grandmother bought a PS3″.

Pizza Guy: “Yeah the blue ray player software can’t be updated so it doesn’t work anymore so I told her about the PS3 and she bought one”

HotFatGuy: “wow”

Pizza Guy: “Yeah and she bought Guitar Hero!”

HotFatGuy: “ok man, have a nice night” (I close the door)

I sigh and turn around with the pizza and my wife is staring at me laughing.

I say “I need to take control of my life” I say, before she can say anything.

The comedy here is 2 fold, first this guy has been here enough he feels comfortable sharing his personal life with me. Second, I was drunk enough the last time or times he was here that I don’t remember him at all.

So yeah, I’m so f’n fat and such a drunk that I have developed a personal relationship with the Papa Ginos delivery guy. Pretty soon he’ll be hanging at my house between deliveries and I’ll be putting him in a sleeper hold like Chief Jay Strongbow.

I couldn’t make this shit up….

Punching Out (For Now)…

-Biff

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