I attended a wedding reception this past weekend with my girlfriend and the it was really fun…It was her family and I got a chance to meet some family members I hadn’t yet met…Her cousin married a woman from Panama and it was pretty cool to see the different cultures mingle and adapt…The wedding actually took place in Panama a few months ago but due to the B.S. immigration system that the United States has in place which allows numerous illegals to collect paychecks while millions of legal American citizens remain unemployed, and allows terrorists to train to be suicde bombers, yet won’t issue a green card to a woman who has family here, has visited the U.S. multiple times and just married a legal U.S. citizen, there were some snafus.
So this weekend was the first time both families could celebrate on American soil…Now since it wasn’t a formal to-do, I wasn’t sure what the eating arrangements were, so, in typical HotFatGuy style, I naturally ate before the wedding…It turned out to be buffet-style with steak tips, BBQ chicken , numerous salad options and some other good sides…The buffet was set up less than an hour into the reception and I ofcourse filled my plate to towering levels (Hey, it was my second family function that my girlfriend brought me to and I don’t know the rules about second and third helpings at this stage, I was taking no chances)
After I finished two-thirds of the plate, I decided I was full and pushed my plate away from me…I know what you’re thinking…”Hey Angry Fat Guy, way to drop the ball at the buffet and eat beforehand”…And I’m just as disappointed in myself as you are in me…Anyway, I watched as all the other guests at my table had their plates cleared away, most of which were finished afte rmine was…Time and time again the server came to our table and didn’t take my plate…I made two trips to the bar and one one to the bathroom, and my plate was still the lone plate on the table everytime I got back.
Finally, while most people were getting their dance on (Ofcourse I don’t dance), the server came over to me and quietly said “Are you still picking, sir”…No…”Should I leave the plate in case you want to finish it later”..Nope…”Well should I leave it in case you decide to get more, I can clear it and bring it back if you want to do that”…No I’m done eating…”Are you sure, I mean you’re not going to want anymore food”…Damn lady, I know I’m fat but seriously take my plate and stop making a scene, I don’t know most of these people.
After she reluctantly cleared my plate, I turned to my girlfriend and one of her cousins and said “Wow, I guess I’m fatter than I thought, that lady thinks I’m not gonna make it through this reception without eating atleast one more time”…They agreed that she was pretty rude, and for a few minutes I felt like stabbing myself with the butter knife.
After I went to the bathroom, contemplated purging, and swore at my fat face in the mirror, I returned to the party and threw out this question…”Was that lady just being completely rude and harrassing, OR was she being generous and nurturing? My food Angel, if you will? And it was debated for a bit.
Here’s the way I see it: She could really have been trying to be nice to me…Maybe she realized I was a little out of place, not knowing people and not dancing and she wanted to let me know I had a friend in her…Like a little buffet fairy…”C’mon fella, food will make you feel less awkward…Food will make everything better”…Maybe I mistook her caring as ignorance and in reality all she wanted to do was throw a couple more steak tips or plantain chips on my plate…Make the fat kid in the corner feel just a little bit better for a minute…Maybe she was a fat kid in a strange place with new and intimidating faces staring at her once too.
Nah, she’s just a miserable bitch who obviously hates her job, hates providing service with a smile and deeply loathes fat people, so she embarasses them when they are in a vulnerable place…And to think she almost got me to throw up my food, HA!
Thanks,
The Angry Fat Guy
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