HotFatGuys.com

I normally leave the ranting to the Angry Fat Guy because that’s his bit and well… I’m a pretty positive guy. 

There are 3 places I look for HotFatGuy clothing; Casual Male XL, Hajjar’s Big & Tall and Rochester Big & Tall.

Yes, I’ve given in to shopping at the Fat Store, it’s fine… I can get shit from Old Navy and other places but aside from being fat I’m also 6′4″ so I’m Big & Tall. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

What really chaps my ass about these places though?

There are NO fat guys in the catalog? None, zero, zip, nada! There aren’t even really tall guys in there?

It’s all just really handsome guys in their mid 40s and 50s? I don’t get it.

Let’s go site by site and take a look:

http://www.casualmale.com

Day at the Beach

This is the Casual Male’s “Day at the Beach” complete outfit. That’s correct, they sell outfits in there entirety… which is a little suspect but I’m ok with.

This Look is fatally flawed for too reasons.

1) This guy can’t weigh more than 160 lbs, that outfit is not going to look the same on a guy (literally) twice his size.

2) He has 2 shirts on. Yeah, exactly what I want to sport in 95 degree, humid weather. Two fucking shirts, oh sweet my man boob sweat will be AWESOME in these duds.

http://www.big-tall.com/ (Hajjar’s)

Old Guys & White Pants?

This site is pretty decent. There are very few models on the site.

Gotta say though the front page Father’s Day logo drives me nuts, particularly the guy in the top right block.

This goof has a decent shirt on and white khakis.

Oh, ok… because the Buffalo Sauce and beer will come right out of those huh? Are you shitting me?

This guy is also probably about 150-160lbs, we’ll see how those stripes look in 3 or 4xl, probably trigger someones epilepsy.

http://www.rochesterclothing.com

These guys are probably the worst offenders, I understand because they cater to a higher end clientele but come on?

Fat Guys or Gay Pimps?

If I wore this I would have to kick my own ass? Can you IMAGINE that jacket in a 58 Long? Holy dog shit, people would pass out.

This is the COVER of one of the Spring Catalogs, this doesn’t make me want to buy your clothes, it makes me want to buy an Elton John CD.

And again with the white pants, I know it’s Summer people but fat guys eat allot more so statistically we will spill that much more.

Nice Look or Table Cloth?

This guy looks pretty slick, until you look a little closer and realize that he has a plaid jacket on?

Again…. it looks great on him… but if I rocked this it would look like I made a shirt of the hotel curtains.

These looks just don’t translate to fat people.

Guess what, not every guy that shops at your store is a pro football player.

So Big & Tall stores of the world, I beg of you. Hire some HotFatGuys to model your stuff, there are enough of us out there!

Punching Out (for now)…

-Biff

How many times has this happened?

You are in a store, let’s say on vacation and see a really slick shirt that you’d like to buy. So you turn to the clerk and have to have that embarrassing “Does this come in a 3XL?” conversation. Followed by the clerk looking at you with that “Hey fatty, this is a swanky clothes store. I think they sell moo moos at the Kmart down the street” look.

Hopefully never… but to me, all the  time. I enjoy the finer things in life and every now and then want to spend $85 on a shirt. Why?  The same reason why I buy my wife a $200+ pair of Uggs… because it’s a confidence booster.

So when traditionally skinny labels open up to the HotFatGuys world it’s exciting stuff. If you don’t live in Mass and have never “vacationed” on Martha’s Vineyard you may not have heard of Vineyard Vines.

They are a little boutique shop on Martha’s Vineyard that sells overpriced Polo’s, bags and whatnot. Mostly yuppie clothes that make you look like a complete fool but some of there stuff is pretty sharp.

So when my Rochester Big & Tall catalog arrived I opened it up and there it was Vineyard Vines in up to 5X! 

We welcome a new section to HotFatGuys.com today entitled Fat Guy Gear.

This will be a collection of products that are particularly handy for the plus size male.

Our first product idea comes from Kevin Smith’s Twitter page. It is called the Comfort Wipe…

The tag line:

“The first improvement to toilet paper as we know it since the 1880’s”

It is an 18″ curved piece of plastic that you can clip toilet paper to and wipe your ass…

That is correct, an extension arm to wipe your ass.

They even have a fat guy in the commercial, classic. Best part is this is a REAL product!  You can actually order this thing by calling the 800 number at the end of the clip.

If anyone has actually used this prodcut or know someone who has please leave us a comment and tell us about it.

Enjoy!

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-Biff